Monday, March 12, 2012

beans beans

so i'm out to dinner with my family... nothing fancy... might have been an applebees, definitely not a denny's but other than that, hard to say. either way, i found myself in desperate need of the restroom.

so, in i go.

i'm there, doing my business, minding my own business, when i notice dripping and a small growing puddle on the floor in front of me, right under the door. i raise my gaze and see that the drops are dripping from the bottom of the door. glancing higher, i see that the drops that are dripping are coming from the slime that is slithering... down the inside of my door. ew

and then i recognize... baked beans. really? what is going on in here?

i look all the way up, and there, hanging her head over the top of the stall door, is a giraffe. poor thing is spewing baked beans like niagra falls, right into my bathroom stall. why? who knows, but i feel sorry for the poor girl, she's obviously sick as a dog and my heart goes out to her...

and then i feel a drop

kind of a plop

more like a splotch

on one foot
then the other

and i look down and BY THE HAMMERS OF GRABTHAR AND MANOLO BLAHNIK!!!!!!! giraffe-puked baked beans are splashing all over my BRAND NEW JIMMY CHOO LOAFERS!!!!!!!


and THAT is when i realized it was a dream. jimmy choo doesn't make loafers.

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