sept. 11

that was a terrifying day. i'll never forget walking out onto our patio and seeing the smoke from the pentagon. i left work around 11, put an 8 hour tape in my vcr, tuned to cnn and went to bed. that's how i deal with stress. took me a couple years to watch that tape...

wednesday morning i walked outside and all i smelled was smoke. it was sickening. it made it real.

i didn't lose anyone i knew, but i knew people that did. my friend and colleague, helen ginsberg at epa lost her cousin, my friend deb lost a friend in new york, the company we shared office space with had their NYC headquarters right next to the twin towers, my parents had friends that lost a nephew... that kind of thing.

years later i worked on a project for a world trade center insurance company and re-created plans for the restaurant, windows on the world. it was a spooky and poignant experience for me.

more directly i have been impacted by a good friend and two of my nephews going to war. i couldn't watch the news, i couldn't watch war movies... i prayed a lot and held my breath. they all came home safely and it was a big relief... every day i'm grateful our family never got that awful news.

in the last week i've watched a lot of specials on 9-11. specials highlighting the tragedy of lives lost as well as the heroism of ordinary people. i watched specials on the monument being built, the people involved in it. it's amazing what we're capable of... what we can give and how we can care for and nurture and comfort each other. it sort of makes me wonder why we don't do it every day, but i remind myself not to think that way, to look at what people DO do, rather than what we don't.

so many lives lost in this war with terrorism... that day 10 years ago, and and still now and we continue to fight to secure freedom for everyone.

i don't like to get dramatic about things, and maybe this is why i'm writing in my blog rather than going to any anniversary event... but i think probably on this terrible anniversary, we've all stopped to remember, to say a prayer for the families, for our service men and women and for our country. i think maybe we should do that every day.